Farben eines Begräbnis- Lieds...

weiss...

2006-08-23T20:09:00.000+08:00

noir

Close your eyes,
a simple command.
Sight is nullified
and yet the feeling stays.

What do you see?
How do you feel?
Can you see what you feel?

Simple and common...
Unique and complicated...

Close your eyes,
a simple gesture.
Sight is nullified
and yet the sound remains.

What do you see?
What do you hear?
Can you see the music...the sound?

Simple and complicated...
Common but unique...

Lies! Lies! Lies!
For you see, a smile can kill...
or not...
it depends...

Close your eyes,
for evil and good are afoot.
Don't open them...
ever...

...just smile.

A new entry...

hehe well back to the scale models and plates.

lucci

2006-08-07T00:39:00.000+08:00

Reaching out to catch the sun
To hold it in our hands
Longing for something strong to hide our weakness

-from Beyond The Bounds made by Maki Kimura

weakness...what weakness? hehe ramblings ramblings....

at first when I see you cry
yea it makes me smile
yea it makes me smile
at worst I feel bad for awhile
but then I just smile
i go ahead and smile

- from Lily Allen's Smile

hehe her last name's Allen......jolly good.
o yeah!! i'll always smile......ALWAYS

Nihilistic: Of or relating to nihilism
Nihilism:1) An extreme form of skeptecism that denies all existence
Used in a sentence:The nihilsm in Bodik's personality coloured his views and his perceptions on life and his surroundings...and then he went to buy a hot dog.

-from my darling cousin Tash (aka Anna Katrina M. Aragon)

...yah yah yah...right?

words, words so many words...
lost in sense and morality...
pretty words...
all smoke and mirrors...
meanings are gone like the wind...
lexical and definition...

rantings, ramblings of i....

Firmaire

Snow falls on the battlefield.
The flames wither then die.
White covers red.
Filth and corpses vanish.
The world covered in linen sheets.
Ugliness hidden but the tears will not
Fade…

why...

2006-06-13T07:41:00.000+08:00

Lady Wants To Know
by: Michael Franks

Daddy plays the ashtray
Baby starts to cry
The lady wants to know
The reason why

Daddy's just like cold train
Baby's just lik miles
Lady is just like heaven
When she smiles

REFRAIN:
The lady wants to know
She wants to know the reason
Got to know the reason why
This man has got to go
This man is always leaving
How he hates to say goodbye
But she doesn't know
Is there really no reason
Really is no reason why

INSTRUMENTAL
REPEAT REFRAIN

Daddy he hates airplane
Baby loves to fly
The lady wants to know the reason why
Daddy's just like cold train
Baby's just like miles
The lady is just like heaven
When she smiles

REPEAT REFRAIN

*sigh...

2006-06-04T00:42:00.001+08:00

it's raining, it's falling...real hard

hehe time for the blues i guess...

haaay buhay tlga noh? hehe sobra saya at sobrang lungkot...

hanggang larawan na lng tlga...

hanggang doon na lng tgla...

haaay buhay...

note to self: buy the album Cafe Bossa by Sitti.

another note to self: hello? nabili mo na yng cd.

note to all: buy the album Cafe Bossa by Sitti...sobrang ganda at relaxing as in......wow.

pre...

2006-06-01T17:59:00.000+08:00

well only a few more days and thus it begins. college life and so on and so forth. oh yeah i'll be studying at the oldest university in the country and that is the university of santo tomas (ust). too be honest i am kinda excited about college life....a lot of "new" things to do, discover and such. hehehehe

i am standing in the crossroads and the traffic lights are broken thus i have no direction.
what am i to do in this situation?

hehehe actually bahala na si batman...

note: bagay nga ba si batman kay wonderwoman?

black hands are rising,
shadows are such
a bother.
sweet malicious star
has caught my fancy.
c'est la vie...

gaze...

2006-05-20T21:42:00.000+08:00

Innocence

I'm lying in a field, contemplating.
The stars above me are smiling
but the truth is they are mocking me.
For my sins, they torment me.

I have no one to love and hate.
The void spreads
and nothing can stop it.
For my sins, they are happy.

How ironic my situation is
for in silence and peace
I am troubled.
For my sins...

Everything is cold.
Shadows spread,
black hands emerge
and they have come
to take me away.

The world was destroyed
and it was by my hand.
Now my punishment begins.
Void is my new home.

rooms...

2006-05-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

jUng

A golden butterfly is watching...

Have you ever been to the Velvet Room?
It is a place between consciousness and unconsciousness.
They say that in this place, we can find our other selves.
We can meet them, we can love them and we can kill them.

Have you ever been to the Velvet Room?
A place in our dreams.
Igor is there to help you in case you find any
difficulties.
Belladonna is there to sing for you
with Nameless playing the piano.
The Demon Artist that paints the gods and demons that
dwell within us also resides there.

Have you ever been to the Velvet Room?
A place beyond our imagination.
A place where we can challenge THE monster.
A foe no one can defeat except itself.
A monster known as oneself.

Have you ever been to the Velvet Room?
If not then take my hand...

Note:The Velvet Room (with it's inhabitants such as Igor, Belladonna, Nameless and Demon Artist) and The Golden Butterfly (Philemon) are concepts,subjects and characters from the Persona series of games developed by Altus.

wants(1)...

2006-05-11T23:18:00.000+08:00

a list of the movies i want to watch:

The Ninth Gate (staring Johnny Depp)
The Devil's Rejects (directed by Rob Zombie)
The Illusionist (staring Edward Norton and Jessica Biel)
The Pirates of the Carribean Sequels (want a spoiler? hehe)
2001: A Space Odyssey (directed by Stanley Kubirck)
Young Hannibal (the origins of Hannibal Lecter)

a list of books and graphic novels i want to read:

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
Watchmen by Alan Moore (DC VERTIGO)
Lucifer by Mike Carey (DC VERTIGO)
One Piece (actually manga yan hehe) by Eiichiro Oda
Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman
1602 by Neil Gaiman (MARVEL Comics)
Kingdom Come by Mark Waid and illustrated by Alex Ross (DC Comics)

part one....

what are your wants?

those eyes...

jacket...

2006-05-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

Patient N0. 16

Hi,hello and allow me to
deduce and introduce
myself...

I live in a cushion-walled room.
Meals are given by the door.
People would visit
night and day
to see how I fare.

I live in a cushion-walled room.
My hands are tied
but I'm peachy and clean.
A smile is always visble
in this little piece art

Too be honest my friend,
I have an obsession.
It's both material and spiritual.
A watcher, caretaker and visitor.

You want to know?
A fine speciment...
those eyes...
those wonderful eyes...

She's mine
from the start until the end.
She's mine,
my sweet sweet...

Those eyes...

I'm tired, let's talk again sometime.

beauty...

2006-05-06T02:43:00.000+08:00

beauty?

Oscar Wilde:

Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault.

www.quotegarden.com:

Our hearts are drunk with a beauty our eyes could never see. ~George W. Russell
I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. ~Author Unknown
Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran
Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts. ~Martin Buxbaum

beauty...eh? hehe

In a picture you can see

things that words cannot agree.

Either a scene or a face

that would never depart

forever with grace

in one's heart

In a picture you can see

the true meaning of beauty.

I know I did...

after one month...

grads...

2006-03-31T00:27:00.000+08:00

Kitams world!!! May mga medals kami baby!!!

GRADUATEs na ba....

v...

2006-03-30T20:26:00.000+08:00

something from the film V for Vendetta...

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

- V from V for Vendetta (Film)

uhh.....yah

tash...

2006-03-23T19:13:00.000+08:00

Shadow Boy
by: Anna Katrina M. Aragon

I rest my head beside yours,
but you are a stranger in my bed tonight.
You look like someone I used to love,
but I don't recognise your face anymore.
I can't help but want to protect you, Shadow Boy so quiet.

I wish you'd share with me what you dream when your eyes are closed.
And what your imagination paints when you're awake.
But your dreams are starting to burn you,
and everyone can see the scars.
Won't you let me behind your private eyes to put you back together?

I want to know your deal,
and why it is you never seem to cry.
No one is chasing you here,
so you don't need to hide.
Rest your mind of wander,
Know if there's truth to tell,
there is no depth of earth,
heaven, else or hell
that you can wander lost in,
where I can't be as well.

my cousin made that... hehe

vorpal...

2006-03-20T02:32:00.000+08:00

the question:

how can you say something which is considered by some (or maybe by every being in creation) to be corny, stupid but most of all hard to say to someone very important?

how can one go through with it?

bravery, courage and the whole shebang?

geddammit it's so damn hard to say something important...

but that is not the question...

the question is...

what is that "something" i speak of no?

ramblings....

Little Boy Blue

Little boy blue come blow your horn.
The sheep's in the meadow,
The cow's in the corn.
Where's the little boy that looks after the sheep?
Under the haystack,
Fast asleep.

Lucky little boy...

dream...

2006-03-19T13:20:00.000+08:00

time flies when you are having fun...

maybe it's true...

it was a dream last night...

a wonderful dream...

a dream i didn't want to end...

c'est la vie though...

i apologized...

ramblings of a fool...

roundabout...

2006-03-16T23:50:00.000+08:00

i heard about this film called Turn Left, Turn Right today. the movie is about two people who are of course in love. now there lives are parallel to one another and they appear to be just perfect for one another. yet fate seems to be such an asshole and keeps the lovers apart. the weird thing is that the lovers live in the same apartment building but they never meet. another weird thing is that i never saw the movie....yet.

Ikbod

It's full of colors, emotions, dreams and stories.
My head...

There was this boy and he was on a journey.
He was looking to fullfil his goal.
A goal that he doesn't even understand.
In that odyssey he met a lot characters that
made an impact in his life.
Two girls, one boy, his kin, one light and two dark.
They made him laugh.
A circle of friends, rainbow-like, different personas.
They made him smile.
A queen not just any royalty though but the queen of the stars.
She made him feel special. She made him feel happy. He smiled.
A leader, a political figure. Beauty in a suit. One with ambition. One who helps.
She made him again feel special. She made him feel sadness. He smiled
but it hurt like hell. It doesn't matter though...he has no heart. He smiled again. She is in his vocabulary, in his thoughts and in his dreams. He smiled again...he has no heart.
Now the odyssey was really becoming a pain in the ass but he went on.
He again met different characters that made changes in his life again.
The boy thought that it was not bad, the things that happened to him.
"Everything sucks but I'm doing just fine" he remembered what his kin told him.
He went to a mayfair with a friend. They had fun. He thought about her (the friend i mean) and he smiled.
Smiling was becoming a habit for the boy but it didn't bother him much though. Apart from dreaming the boy was good at smiling.
He met another circle of friends, rainbow-like, high school friends and the boy was happy. He smiled.
The boy created or drew for someone and he was happy. His talents are drawing, dreaming and smiling.
He met Splendor on one of his journies.They talked for long hours. He smiled and he felt happy.
Yet a problem arose from his odyssey. Something that plagued him for quiet a while and the boy was just dumbstruct. He doesn't know what to do.
His kin (2 girls and 1 boy), the 2 circles of friends, the queen of the stars, the leader, the mayfair girl, the drew-created-for-person and splendor have made an impact on his lives but the weird thing is that there are more...

"Happiness and torture are not far off." said the boy,
"Where is my Beatrice though?" the boy added.

I apologize for this ramble...
Peace to you and Jolly Good...

ides...

2006-03-15T23:03:00.000+08:00

"Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. There is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof. "

-V from V for Vendetta (film)

Geddamit hehe V is the new idol hehehe. Well as you can see I watched the movie "V for Vendetta" today and it was great. Hehe V is (or was) really a suave, charming, badass, mean, deadly, cool smart, funny and crazy muthafuc....person. The movie on the other hand was ok....si V tlga panalo ba hwhahaha hehe astg.

Enwais it's a good thing that today was really a good (well not that much) day. Hehe my problem is ignored by me for while.

Oh troubled soul,
don't worry.
Life goes on...
Smile and be merry.

who...

2006-03-04T23:02:00.000+08:00

http://kevan.org/johari?name=bodik

um just something to pass the time with...

question...

2006-02-25T01:20:00.000+08:00

Verrückt in der Liebe

One, two, three,
Jabberwocky
get out of my head
get out of my head!!

A price to pay
for peace and harmony
waiting in vain
waiting in vain!!

Exchange of goods
for broken is my sanity
neverwhere
neverwhere!!

Null, black and void
my mind lost in limbo and ecstasy
for shame
for shame!!

I feel something...
love or infatuation...
get out of my head
get out of my head!!

It's too much...
Fate...

I'm just fooling myself...

beholder...

2006-02-22T21:39:00.000+08:00

Perplex

How many ways can I say it?
How many ways can I show it?
How?
Ignorance takes its hold on me.

Inside me is a notion that
I can’t release.
Inside me is a feeling that
I can’t share.
Fear takes its hold on me.

Why I am afraid?
Why I am scared?
Why?
Paranoia takes its hold me.

Everywhere I look
she is there.
Every dream that I have
she is there.
Dread takes its hold on me.

When will it stop?
When will it cease?
When?
Fright takes it hold on me.

Inside my head
it dwells.
No holds barred
it gains the upper hand.

Controlling me…
I’m losing…
Predestination…
I’m fooling myself…

under the fair moon...

2006-02-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

in the beginning...

i woke up at around one in the afternoon. the plan was that i would go with my classmates to visit james at st. luke's and then i would accompany kes to be with a friend of his. well the good thing was that what happened to me today was exactly like that...

the day itself was not that bad...really. actually it was downright good and jolly good. i spent time with the that people that i love. it was an odyssey, from the crowded halls of st. luke's to the considered mecca of an atenean which of course is katipunan. me, kes and his friend erika ate at the old spagetti house and God it was good. i really missed eating pasta with lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of parmesan cheese. hehe good times good times. enwais from the old spagetti house, we went to jollibee and there we spent the rest of the afternoon. o yeah...good luck mike!! hehe then as i left katipunan and went home... i walked under the fair moon with countless things in my mind...

such musings for this month of events...

Champ des rêves

entreaty...

2006-02-14T20:02:00.000+08:00

Mary's Prayer

By: Danny Wilson

Everything is wonderful
Being here is heavenly
Every single day, she says
Everything is free

I used to be so careless
As if I couldn't care less
Did I have to make mistakes?
When I was Mary's prayer

Suddenly the heavens rolled
Suddenly the rain came down
Suddenly was washed away
The Mary that I knew

So when you find somebody who gives
Think of me and celebrate
I made such a big mistake
When I was Mary's Prayer

CHORUS:
So if I say save me save me
Be the light in my eyes
And if I say ten Hail Mary's
Leave a light on heaven for me

Blessed is the one who shares
The power and your beauty,
MaryBlessed is the millionaire
Who shares your wedding day

So when you find somebody to give
Think of me and celebrate
I made such a big mistake
When I was Mary's Prayer

CHORUS
CHORUS

If you want the fruit to fall
You have to give the tree a shake
But if you shake the tree too hard,
The bough is gonna break

And if I can't reach the top of the tree
Mary you can hold me up there
What I wouldn't give to be
When I was Mary's prayer

CHORUS
CHORUS

Save me, save me
Be the light in my eyes
What I wouldn't give to be
When I was Mary's prayer
What I wouldn't give to be
When I was Mary's prayer
What I wouldn't give to be (save me)
When I was Mary's prayer

Such for this day....

mirror on the wall...

2006-02-05T20:59:00.000+08:00

Indication

Serenity in a room without light,
a mirror hangs on the wall.
Reflection which is mine alone,
a face without tranquility.

Inside my head is a thought
that is unattainable.
One shoots for the stars.
It is a dream without cause.

Reflect on the things I want.
I’m over my head,
for what I want is unthinkable.
Leave it be....

Sérénité dans une chambre sans lumière,
un miroir accroche sur le mur.
Réflexion qui seul est la mienne,
un visage sans tranquilité.

I am a fool…

It's so near... the end of something that has been with me for a long time. Yet too be honest the things indside my head are thoughts that I can't release. Things that I can't share....but I want to. Such musings that bother us in this month of hearts. They return and I can't do anything about it...

musing...

2006-02-02T20:32:00.000+08:00

Bliss on 20

Over My Head (Cable Car)
by The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
S'often a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

February...a season for the heart. It is also the time to release those things that are trapped inside my head....and my heart.

sweet and cold...

2006-01-31T21:39:00.000+08:00

Frimaire

Frost and chill in this sweet plane,
but which of us can complain?
For the cold, weary and insane,
the chill in life is just another lane.

Come what may and may what come,
life is just another winter for some.
But remember and never forget
life and its winter is sometimes never a regret.

So smile, dance and be merry.
Give your love a kiss or two.
Release the words that you carry
for in this winter it'll be just me and you.

actually la lng tlga akong magawa.....ulit kaya ginawa ko 'to. JOLLY GOOD ba....at some point hehe.

nivôse and pluviôse...

2006-01-29T15:11:00.000+08:00

Hehe January is my month (it doesn't mean i own the month of January ok?) because it is the month in which i was born and a lot of good things happened. so thank God for January!!

Of things that happened:
Jan. 1:

New YEAR...duh spent it with my relatives hehehe Ein and Tash got me Sandman: Dream Hunters. God I love my cousins.

Jan. 4:

Tita Cynthia was buried...Rest in Peace tita, we luv yah

Jan. 6-7:

The retreat of 4d (tnx for the Palancas by the way!!!)
ACET results were released. I was rejected but C'est La Vie

Jan. 12-16:

i have been absent during the week days (record!!)
went to the doctors and stuff about my health
Jan. 15 was Tito Dodo's death aniversary (God Bless tito!! We miss you so much)

Jan. 19:

Tita Peachy's Birthday!!
Jason treated the class to YellowCab Katipunan.
Tecs had his party at Antipolo, I wasn't there though...pity

Jan. 20:

My Birthday!! Jolly Good
I had a party at my house with the people I love (though not all of them were there but that's ok hehe gnun tlga) and it was great.
Oh yeah, I turned 19 by the way.

Jan. 21-22:

Party at the Montemayors, meaning good times with my cousins.
I got blessed twice.
Sunday, we visited lolo's grave....rest in peace lolo.
Family dinner at Max Fried Chicken Quezon Ave.

Jan. 25:

I was absent because I had a doctor's appointment.
Quality time (day) with my cousins (L.A., Ein and Tash). We went to Starbucks Katipunan and SM North Edsa. I was the driver by the way.
Money supply: LOW

Jan. 26:

Um telephone sessions with Ein and Tash.
Was a little bit emotional
Started looking for an albino pygmy elephant for Tash.

Jan. 27:

Ein and Tash went back to New Zealand and it will be a long time 'till they come back.
Sad but C'est La Vie
HELIOS: 10th HS fair...it rained hehehe
USTET reasults and......I passed!!!

Jan. 28:

HELIOS: TD day and I spent (kasama at nakausap...bsta gnun ba) it with friends (Beryl and her sister Bethany, Carissa, Kat, Gerome, Nico, BR, Erika and Chinny, Hayzel and Monik) and Classm8s (Mike, Gire, Gabo, Onyong, James, Arvin, Paul, Jopet, Johnny, Macky, BR, Ken etc) it was fun.
Money Supply: Broke pero um medyo ok nman

So that's what January was for me... Good Times Good times!!!

Pluviôse

It’s raining, the world is being cleaned.
Such wonder and I am at peace.
The sky is gray, depressing yet fulfilling
for it is raining and I am at peace.

chant...

2006-01-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

Shanti Mantra "This is Fullness"

Om
Poor-na-ma-dahPoor-na-mi-dam
Poor-nat Poor-na-mu-da-cha-te
Poor-nas-ya Poor-na-ma-daya
Poor-na-me-vaa-va-shish-ya-te
Om Shan-ti Shan-ti Shan-ti-hi

That is fullness - this is fullness
Fullness comes from fullness
Take fullness from fullness
and fullness remains
May there be Peace Peace Peace

um something i want to share....a mantra from the art of yoga...

light...

2005-12-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

Firefly Dream

In twilight, I sit and meditate.
I let the world slip away.
I let time pass me.
I let reality escape my grasp.
For in twilight nothing matters.

In twilight they flicker
giving a vision of the past,
showing the status of the present,
and sharing a glimpse of the future.
For in twilight nothing matters.

In twilight lies a prison
that I both depise and adore.
It is a prison that I cannot escape.
For in twilight nothing matters,
except you...

In twilight I reside...
trapped in a state...
of bliss and despair...

In twilight nothing is what it seems.
Everything resides in the firefly dream.

Um....sorry bored talaga eh...

her magic...

2005-12-23T01:14:00.000+08:00

it's happening again...

that smile...
that face...

geddammit it's happening again...
i can't sleep...
i can't eat...
i can't concentrate...
i can't create...

all that i can do is dream...

that smile...
that face...
it was just a dream...
a dream that i hope to God would come true...

definition...

2005-12-22T15:55:00.000+08:00

Paraiso

Life and death are woven by light.

I entered the city of love and ecstasy.
Its gates are made of silver and pearl.
Happiness and excitement took over me
for at last the odyssey ends.

Our hopes and fears are woven by dreams.

Questions entered my mind as I drew closer.
What shall I do in a place like this?
Does my inspiration dwell in this shangri-la?
Is Beatrice here?

Yet dreams are only smoke and mirrors...

The city was deserted..
Not one being stirred..
Not even the wind...
No souls...
No angels...
Nothing...

Heaven is just a ghost town...

La lng talaga akong magawa hehehe sorry...

i'm fading into nothing...

2005-12-12T20:24:00.000+08:00

i'm a sucker for those worlds that are filled with laughter and romance.
i'm a sucker for those scenarios that are filled smiles and broken promises.
i'm a sucker for those days when everything are just peachy.
i'm a sucker for those dreams....
those dreams...

you know i dream to much, but to be honest that's the only thing i'm good at and because of that i'm dreaming my life away.

i'm living in dreams...
damn dreams...
they'll be the death of me...

a little something...

2005-12-11T16:33:00.000+08:00

Blues and Romance

The cold and wonderful summer breeze,
starlight and romance upon the sea.
The sax,horn and keys are playing our song.
So shall we dance the night away?
Twirling and laughing with nothing to bother us.
Then in the end I'll say something like...
I love you...

As I release those words, you smiled
and the waltz continued.
The sax,horn and keys are playing our song.
I hope and pray that this night would
never end.
In your arms I would sleep and dream
for all eternity.

The sax, horn and keys are playing our song...

Something for those who are in love and those who are out of love.
In life everything sucks but we are doing just fine.
Just smile and believe...

...the idol

2005-11-10T21:31:00.000+08:00

Elric: The Vanishing Tower
By: Yoshitaka Amano

of the break...

2005-11-09T20:31:00.000+08:00

my sem break was really something...

hong kong was the setting...

and i met new friends (the characters)...

alix- the energetic, tall and half-pinoy, half-greek girl. 12 years old pa lang, halos sintangkad ko na!!
berryl- my companion(kausap, kasama sa paglalakad sa airport at iba pa) in the airport.
unknown chinese guy- he is the guard at our flat in hong kong.
berryl's siblings (blaise, benedict at becky (?))- mga kalaro ng kapatid ko.
lady wearing shades at the airport- nakita ko siya sa airport nung sabado ng gabi tpos pareho pa rin yng suot niya hanggang monday ng hapon. astg noh?

the events...

went to Disneyland....ang daming mga pilipino.
killed the 16 colossus, in other words i finished the game "shadow of the colossus".
i hung out in the airport for three nights and two days.
met new friends.

so these are the things that happened during my sem break.

Garcia-Surname is of uncertain origin but could possibly have and of the following meanings: 1) From a medieval given name meaning "like a fox." 2) a descendant of Garcia, Spanish form of Gerald 3) one who came from Garcia, in Spain. According to Elsdon C. Smith, the name Garcia could mean either "descendant of Garcia, Spanish form of Gerald" or "one who came from Garcia, in Spain."

from
http://genealogy.about.com/library/surnames/g/bl_name-GARCIA.htm

la lng...

it was not that bad after all...

2005-10-24T20:28:00.000+08:00

friday...

after that tour in hell (in other words CAT combat training) all of us were just dirty. tempers rose and fell but it was okay i guess. everyone was just exhausted and because of that no more time for DOTA. me on the other hand got home and went straight to bed (after taking a bath of course) but i tell you true that after that brief glimpse at Katipunan the day was not that bad after all.

saturday...

DOTA with classmates and majong session at home. o yeah i watched the movie "Sky HIgh" and it was okay and okay hehehe.

sunday...

nothing....just became a hermit again and i watched the movie "50 First Dates". it was really uh nice...

an excerpt from "Friday I'm In Love" by The Cure

Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday wednesday stay in bed
Or thursday watch the walls instead
It's friday i'm in love

Saturday wait
And sunday always comes too late
But friday never hesitate...

life will...

2005-10-17T21:06:00.000+08:00

Null

It was just a feeble dream,
a false reality.
Walking by the beach.
C’est La Vie
C’est La Vie

Tears from the stars,
a man would hang by the hour.
A smile turned sour.
C’est La Vie
C’est La Vie

O’ to you my melody,
a kiss, two or three.
My love will always be.
C’est La Vie
C’est La Vie

of the night...

2005-10-16T16:17:00.000+08:00

"footprints" last night and it was a....ok i guess but the highlight of that evening was the gathering at worldnet. for you see after the concert my classmates and i played DOTA until 3 in the morning. such fun eh? we also took pictures of ourselves in the middle of the road. hehehe such fun eh?

So a toast to the night and its children!!!

too bad you guys weren't there though...
pity...

Lament

by: Stan Rice

Cry not, my baby.

Cry.

I know a frog ate a white moth.

The frog did not cry.

That's why he's a frog.

The moth did not cry.

Now moth is not.

My baby, cry not. Cry. There is much to do.

I will cry too.

I will cry for you.

a dream...

2005-10-08T20:55:00.000+08:00

it was not real...
it was just a fantasy...
a false reality...

for in my dream the following happened...

hell was on earth because i failed and heaven won't even move a finger...
i was told a tale about my enemy...
and i in turn shed a tear...
in other words i cried my eyes off...
i felt sadness even in the waking world...

sorry kung malabo, just thoughts of an enlightened lunatic...

profile...

2005-10-02T21:48:00.000+08:00

what am i...

a human being, filipino
a son, the eldest.
a brother, the KUYA.
a cousin, the 26th(unsure) in the Garcia clan and the 3rd of the Montemayor clan. an anomaly according to my kin.
a friend (hopefully), joker (unsure)
a senior in the ateneo high school and the 16th student of the class of 4D '06

i dream for something i cannot comprehend.
i yearn for something beyond thought.
so in life and light let us see,
how to solve this mystery.
while in death and shadow we shall ponder and despair
of the identity of the heart's heir.
so what is it?
a being? an object? a status? i don't know...
but when i find out...
the scene shall commence and the butterflies
will rise in splendor..
and that is the ender.

i, allen

candles in september...

2005-09-19T18:21:00.000+08:00

ACET, it's dead and done baby...

hehe all that matters is the new goal but there's a problem and that is the approach. how will i become a signal or a beacon? how can i be known? well back to the drawing board then to devise a plan.

while my weekend on the other hand was really JOLLY GOOD.

Saturday...
my classmates and I spent the whole of saturday at worldnet. we made new friends (one of which is that cute lady who is I think is the one that manages the shop) and i got a new name which is "sister..." periods included.

Sunday...
was different. all I did was just.....sleep and dream. yes! for sunday I became the hermit yet again which is quite okay at some point in time. criselle's birthday also...

Monday (today)...
only that it is rio and ria's birthday and a day for homework.

well that's that...

I really do need help on the approach...

i'm smiling...

2005-09-09T20:59:00.000+08:00

they say that the human mind is the most complex object in the universe. well i don't really give a damn about what the white coats are saying but at somepoint they're right. man for the past few weeks my dreams were really weird and not normal but despite that they were also really cool. at first they didn't bother me much but they were (are)kinda exciting and they left their mark on my head. yet the one i had last night was really wrong and just plain........kadiri! pucha nman tlga as in hindi tama.impyerno ang abot ko nun. kaya sana hindi na maulit.......

uhh sori for the weirdness it's in my genes.....

So in darkness,
we can sing and be merry.
Forget about our problems and their kin.
Just drink until life becomes sin....

my heart and my nemesis...

2005-09-06T21:49:00.000+08:00

she has this uncanny ability...

to bring me both happiness and sadness...
to leave me in the dark...
to inspire me...
to confuse me
to hurt me...
to kill me...

just hearing her name...
by giving me that smile...

she is...

my jailer...
my torturer...
my undertaker...
my guide...
my angel...
my demon...
my inspiration...
my beatrice...

So I ask for all of you to wake me up and let me face my
perfect enemy...

c'est la vie...

2005-08-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

a tale to tell...

There were three brothers who were triplets,handsome and wise. They lived in a land where both the sun and moon appeared together. The first of the brothers was Sid the hot-bloodied magus of the digital dimension. Uberego was the second, the angel of the family. The most valiant and the morally gifted. Finally the third of the brothers was Drego the defender and the one that can easily adapt to change. These brothers dreamed of things beyond there reach. Sid craved the destruction of the Lwal Terets, a city whose foundation relied on the digital dimension. Uberego on the other hand wish to gain enligthenment and a life in the White. While Drego wanted to live as someone gifted by the TWO sides. So to fulfill their dreams the brothers went there seperate ways.

While in a room filled with the eyes of dead deities a voice spoke and said, " Three for three, I will state the fate of the brothers with much hope and glee. The first shall stand at the center as progress crumbled around him while holding the hand of his love. The second shall hang from a tree that overlooks the ocean and he shall gain knowledge. Finally the third shall live and he will inherit the two faces of the coin."

The voice stopped and the tale ends...

Um just something to pass the time...

fading bliss...

2005-08-15T21:00:00.000+08:00

a tale to tell...

I was alone in a garden filled with butterflies and the sky was painted red. They all moved in unision my friend, the butterflies. You could see them as they flew under the blood-red sky. It soothed me as they glided thru the crimson firaments. My chest was bleeding because I tore out my heart. So heartless that I am the butterflies still remained. Then something caught my eye. It was a girl in a sable dress and she was talking to a witch. As I gazed upon that girl the butterflies fell like the stars at the end of their existence. Yet I stood there and I stared at the girl in a sable dress. Finally, she returned my gaze and by some dark transition it all went black. I woke up in a boat with her head on my lap.

"When you turn into the First then the Third I shall become." she whispered.

I smiled and said nothing. Then out of love and despair I gave her a deep kiss. As our lips parted the light came.

The dream fades away...

The tale ends...

A dream I had last friday and I ask forgiveness for the mushiness.

I can't believe it's true
That there are holes left in both of our shoes
If the signs say it's you then I hope it takes me to
So powerless I hold you near
Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

-an excerpt from Soul meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie

doubt...

2005-08-09T20:15:00.000+08:00

Soul Meets Body
Death Cab For Cutie

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new

Cause in my head there's a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where they're far more suited than here

I cannot guess what you discovered
Between the dirt with our homes cut like shovels
But I know one filthy hand can wash one another's
And not one speck will remain

I can't believe it's true
That there are holes left in both of our shoes
If the signs say it's you
Then I hope it takes me to
So powerless I hold you near
Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body

I can't believe it's true
That there are holes left in both of our shoes
If the signs say it's you then I hope it takes me to
So powerless I hold you near
Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

an ender...

2005-08-08T20:48:00.000+08:00

to you...

my angel, my beatrice, my cordelia, my desdemona, my evangeline, my flora, my galetea, my harmony, my ingrid, my jewel, my katherine, my lyta, my mary, my niobe, my ophelia, my persephone, my querentia, my rose, my sati, my talia, my uma, my verdandi, my wilhemina, my xochiquetzal, my youth, my zatanna....

to my torturer, names that i would give you and with it my heart. despite the pain you have given me, you are a beatrice.

you will never know nor believe the things i feel, still a beatrice you are. always and never...

to my torturer, your face and smile are the things that cause pain greater than those of hell's. yet you are still a beatrice.

to my torturer, will you be my someone?

I yearn for something I cannot have...
Something beyond my reach...
So much pain given to me...
Yet she is still a Beatrice...

becoming a scrooge...

2005-07-31T21:25:00.000+08:00

Fate- destiny; inevitable necessity; death or destruction; predestined lot.

Such a beautiful word and by all the things that matter and anti-matter I HATE it with a passion. A passion that burns like a flame. Free will is just an overrated urban myth that gives false hope to an asshole. Fate is a Lovecraftian monster bent on giving you a bad and fucked-up life or just your day. Yet in the end all we can do is........nothing. How peachy and tasty life can be.

Oh what I woudn't give for a someone...

I hate being a disposable companion. Someone you can talk to or someone to spend your time with then after that you just throw him away like a used tissue paper. But what can I do? Being a disposable companion is the role written for me and of course the character cannot rebel againts the author and win.

In a dark room I'll wait until I am needed. Then after the job is done I'll return again and wait again. Oh how the sounds of the past soothe you...

allow me...

2005-07-26T20:30:00.000+08:00

"The Man with a smile"

Fleet, fly, wonder and despair
O' everlasting light.
A bother to the Nocturne’s lair,
away and be gone from mine sight.

With that ending for a while,
I introduce a being of great distinction.
The dashing Man with a smile,
whose name exceeds his own reputation.

Problems and pains from here to there
in his suit of sable and grey.
The Man with a smile will simply care
as long you have hearts to pay.

So come and do business
with your heart on the line.
I promise performance for the Guinness
and it would be sublime.

-from Tales from the Void

my ideal girl...

2005-07-23T20:08:00.000+08:00

Miho from Sin City

created by: Frank Miller

Now this is my kinda girl...

silent and deadly...

also can eat my heart (literally)

where is my heart?...

2005-07-20T19:55:00.000+08:00

The Flying Dutchman

By: Yoshitaka Amano

Lovers in the Dark

Stars shinning brighter...

A prison of luceferic despair,

woe to you Heartless Lover.

Away from your maiden's flair.

Where is my heart?

Is it beneath the black-pitched skies?

Was it pierced by an unstoppable dart?

My heart did the angel despise.

-from Tales from the Void

loving the darkness...

2005-07-17T14:52:00.000+08:00

"The Verse of the moon"

By Yoshitaka Amano

"Love in the dark"

Stick and stones,

Blood and wine.

Void, null and very much alone.

Something that'll stand 'till the end of time.

Mercutio's song set in stone.

And in silence,

broken and unworthy

he came with the song of loneliness.

Flying with pale wings,

the Heartless Lover.

While from the northern lights

came the most beautiful.

No words can describe

the beauty of

the Shining Maiden.

So within the dark

they met with open arms.

The Heartless with his pale wings

and the Maiden with her illuminating smile.

Yet a paradox occurs...

In it's crimson chariot

the Dead Angel arrives to

bring light to the lover's nocturnal paradise.

Powerless the Lover fell into light

and withered away.

While the Maiden was taken

by the Dead Angel

towards bliss and despair.

Woe to the Lovers in the Dark!!!

-from Tales from the Void

testament...

2005-07-16T23:27:00.000+08:00

"The Strange Beast"

by: Yoshitaka Amano

yahoo!!! ateneo wins, well too be honest i really don't give a fuck about games but things are really weird. yep that is the meaning of life. today was just another boring and distasteful day, not much happened. dial-up has just been a pain in the ass and all that jazz. so far i'm just bored,hungry and lonely (uhh yah?) but what i am is just peachy (a rotten one). my god the walls are just so dark and things are so linear.

i hate it!!! riding the waves...

just praise and worship the bleeding sun....

you know what i'll just spill it out. some people say that it's too early or it's not that important at the moment. i know it's pathetic or it's just not me...

i want it!!
i...i want someone to love, someone to hold on to when the light aproaches, someone just someone to be with, someone that at the end of the day would just greet you and smile, someone that would understand anything that's bothering you, someone that could stop you, someone to dream with, someone to give everything even though you have nothing, someone that could really hurt you, someone to stand by with as the sun bleeds, someone to guide you as the world eats, someone turn to, someone to kiss, someone to give the words " i love you", someone...someone

that's what i want...

a piece...

2005-07-14T21:26:00.000+08:00

Call me Parable, a son of Adam

of this accursed era.

An inhabitant of Dreamtime,

a place where all myths gather.

Call me Parable, a fiend

of this accursed era.

The one that deflied Gaia

in her bed.

The one that scorched Oranos

at his throne.

Call me Parable, a mortal deity

of this accursed era.

The one that hacked the Bodhi terminal.

The one that rivals the strength of the Source.

The one with free will.

unseal...

2005-07-09T17:20:00.000+08:00

for starters, i can't feel my arms....

well the reason is we had CAT yesterday and there i discovered a terrible truth and that is i am weak. well my body is weak. dammit eh? but it could be remedied....well hopefully. yesterday, i kinda snapped in class. i shouted and all that jazz. i guess i was not in the mood...for stuff and shit.

today, i am alone again. no parents and my brother which is almost like nirvana with the blood. hope this state would never end....

"They"
JEM

Who made up all the rules
We follow them like fools
Believe them to be true
Don't care to think them through

And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

And it's ironic too
Coz what we tend to do
Is act on what they say
And then it is that way

And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly
Know all this
Who are they
And where are they
And how can they possibly
Know all this

Do you see what I see
Why do we live like this
Is it because it's true
That ignorance is bliss

Who are they
And where are they
And how do they
Know all this
And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this

Do you see what I see
Why do we live like this
Is it because it's true
That ignorance is bliss

And who are they
And where are they
And how can they
Know all this
And I'm sorry so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

something for a change...

2005-07-03T19:31:00.000+08:00

you know today was a little different than yesterday. for starters i was not in my "lonely-hate-own-heart-eating" persona. don't know what the reason is and i guess i'll never know. then out of boredom i watched this kate hudson-matthew mcconaughey movie "how to lose a guy in 10 days" and for some unknown reason i was hooked...uh meaning i liked it. especially the song "L-O-V-E" which in the movie soundtrack was a remake by an artist calling him/herself FISHER from an old Natalie Cole song. it was very tasty...

i hope everyday would be like this (to be honest, maybe about everytime i'm hit by my "lonely-hate-own-heart-eating" persona which could happen everyday)

"Wants"

The things I want and all the rest.

What are the things I want?

Riches that would perish in an instant?

Fame that could fade in a heartbeat?

Immortality that would just be a bore?

Maybe just someone to watch

the northern lights with.

Yeah I think that'll do just fine.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

looking to far into the future...

2005-07-02T14:09:00.000+08:00

can we be like our parents? i mean can we give the kind of life they gave us to our own family? are we even ready?

just some things i wondered as the days passed.

o yeah i already got my driver's license so add another idiot in the road hehehe.
well things are changing so goddamn fast and it's not that delicious.

i'm just hungry for something i don't know...

you know rio once told me that i'm not alone which is very reassuring but deep inside i do feel alone. i don't know why but i just can't find myself. maybe i'm just being selfish or something....

that's the problem when you eat your own heart...

"Companion"

Play with me my shadow.
Follow my every wish.
Destroy all those I hate.
Murder all those I ignore.
Devour all those I love
and in the end it would
just be us....

-from Poems by a Lunatic

forever for never...

2005-06-29T16:48:00.000+08:00

june is almost over and thus it begins. high school would just breeze thru like uh somthing. then hello college and i hope it would be jolly good.

hope it would be more tasty...

eateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateat
eateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateat
eateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateat
everything...

"Ingest"

Losing control of your hunger?

Ingest,
everything that matters.
From love to life,
from pain to death.

Ingest,
our deeds
ranging from
good to bad.

Ingest,
all because
we can.

Don't worry
it's delicious.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

karmatic drama...

2005-06-27T19:30:00.000+08:00

they say karma is true and it does happen to people. those who harm others would get what they deserve while those worthy would be rewarded.

do you believe in it?

politics once said that it's all bullshit.
the law of nature is the one that works.

"The strong shall live while the weak perish."

well for me, karma is up to us. we are the ones who should punish those who are just plain bad and reward the worthy. it's always up to us that's why we're so tasty.

"Eat or be eaten"

it's so delicious....

"Yuichi no Kami"

What are they to me?
But fresh meat.
Cattle if you will.
A snack and drink.

What are you to us?
But an idol.
A parasite
that cannot even
feed itself.

What are they to me?
What are you to us?

You and they are just
dinner...

- from Poems by a Lunatic

dame fortuna...

2005-06-26T17:46:00.000+08:00

why are so dangerous?
well the reason is that we could hurt one another both in mind and body.
we could cripple one another with the simplest word or gesture
and we wouldn't give a damn.
how nice and wonderful it is to be human no?
we're so tasty....

"Danger"
by Etro Anime

I don't wanna try to fight this love
How dangerous can it be
I know the odds are so unfavorable
And honesty's forsakable
So many run for safety
Run from the

Danger of falling in love like this
Danger of falling apart
In the hands of another
Danger in falling in love like this
Cold sweat craving the dark
So completely
So sweetly
Danger

Things have gone wrong
They do more often than they don't
I was a child before
A soldier in defense
I'll take the leap
I've gone so far for lesser gold
I wanna know this life
By your side
I don't wanna try to fight this love
How dangerous can it be
I know the odds are so unfavorable
And honesty's forsakable
So many run for safety
Run from the

Danger of falling in love like this
Danger of falling apart
In the hands of another
Danger in falling in love like this
Cold sweat craving the dark
So completely
So sweetly
Danger

Danger of falling in love like this
Danger of falling apart
In the hands of another
Danger in falling in love like this
Cold sweat craving the dark
So completely
So sweetly
Danger of falling in love like this
Danger of falling in love like this

weird thing is i'm not in love. why? i lost my heart because i ate it...

of human boundaries...

2005-06-25T15:55:00.000+08:00

"Philologus"

Beyond our limits.
Beyond our bounds.
Five for five,
of hate, politics, vises, love
and death.

Of hate,
emotions that run
thru our minds.
Pain and wonder
of why things happen.

Of politics,
human thought.
Greed and lust
for power and riches.

Of vises,
curiosity and inquisitiveness.
To try something new
that range from
sex and alcohol.

Of love,
great friend and foe.
A force so powerful,
it destroyed worlds,
men and even gods.

Of death,
freedom...
an end...
a new beginning...
and our much earned
rest...

Five for five
we exsist...

- from Poems by a Lunatic

nirvana in blood...

2005-06-23T20:51:00.000+08:00

uh it's been a while hehehe not my fault, my pc had a virus and the rest was history. anyways, june has been a month of changes (which i am to lazy to type) or to simplfy everything i'm jus bored,pissed and confused. pathetic ain't it? but who cares right? no one every do care. i just want to eat everything up....literally. i'll just devour everything, from my problems to people ( i mean to eat people).

cannibalism is the new beatrice...

"Karma"

Our deeds are to be weighed
by those of power,
by those who are beyond.

Worthy, then bliss and ecstasy
is your reward.
Bathe in enternal light
and wither away.

Damned, then torment and sadness
for your soul.
Walk in darkness
and be forgotten.

Thus stated by those
who are strong
but it is all
smoke and mirrors.

Rebel and devour
those of power.

Karma is just
a rumor.

- from Poems by a Lunatic

Seeing golden butterflies...

2005-05-31T18:40:00.000+08:00

here comes june...
(the month not the name of a girl i don't know)

of things that happened these past few dayz....

May 27:
the youth camp began and for the first time in yfc vista history about 50+ participants attended. it is something new no? anyways br and i just became observers for the camp but 10 mins later i was upgraded to DGL (discussion group leader) and br was downgraded to my assistant. as the night ended br and i went home with mavic and we slept together.
May 28:
again youth camp and one of br's ingenious dance routines...
May 29:
end of youth camp and i went home. when i got there i slept until 1 in the afternoon then i went to tita tess'. again another gathering of blood relations(uh family in simplified form) because my cousin from the US came home (uh that would be aleya) and another game of cranium (in which i lost). when the evening came it was beer and a moment with my relatives (cousins and aunt).
May 30:
just a day with my cousins...
May 31:
a hermit again...

"Vascilla"

Under the Martian sky,
freedom roams like the west wind.
Broken are the chains of
time and human boundaries.

Under the Martian sky,
limitations are jus things of
the past.
We children are free..

Under the Martian sky,
let us live and be merry.
We are our own gods..

Freedom...
Freedom...

-from Poems by a Lunatic

peachy and clean...

2005-05-24T17:41:00.000+08:00

i thought that today was going to be a kick in the rear and thank God i was wrong. you may wonder why but the answer is that because of those people that complete me life is just peachy and clean. tnx everyone....

my thanks:
-tnx rio for that site you gave me about the my new favorite band "Kings of Conveniece", it was very jolly goody.
-tnx arvin,ace and gire those important info concering the UPCAT applications.
-tnx for those people who are just peachy and clean.

"Commons"

Hey! What a beautiful day.
A rose for my lovely fay.
Just smile 'coz i have nothing to say.
Sit and relax while the leaves play.
Enjoy this moment if you may
'coz it's a beautiful day.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

enlighten the bored...

2005-05-23T12:12:00.000+08:00

nothing much happened today because i did nothing to make something happened or something like that. i just slept and dreamed of something really weird. so my day was very linear and boring which was unjolly good (if such a word exists) but i hope tomorrow would be different.

"Elf-Woman"

Under the numerous stars,
Amidst the singing of the nightingales.
You shall see her
Dancing to the rhythm of the wind.
With every spin, a lifetime passes like a sigh.
With every step, eternity rumbles.
And if by chance you would see
The light of her face
Then the dream begins
Your life blooms anew

- from Poems by a Lunatic

"Star-Queen"

Hark to all!!!
Have heard of her?
The Lady of the sky.
The one that brings hope
to those captured by despair.
The one whose fingers
created the lamps
we see during the night.

Hark to all!!!
Have you heard of her?
The Star-Queen.
Bringer of light and hope
to all and to me...

from Poems by a Lunatic

"Beatrice"

A force that drives me..
to create, to shape and to love.

Because of her
anything is possible,
creation becomes my playground.

Because of her
existence has a meaning.
my life has a purpose

Because of her
i am what am.

My Beatrice,
my soul and my love...

-from Poems by a Lunatic

uh la lng...

between a smile and a walk under the moon...

2005-05-22T12:35:00.000+08:00

of things that happened today and yesterday...

05/20/05

1st quarter:
the first thing that happened is a small trip to the atenean's mecca which is katipunan. i broke my fast at mcdonald's while waiting for my classmate felix. then as i was about to leave and also while waiting for felix to finish up his order a friend came and gave me a smile. thus my day was set...

2nd quarter:
it was the last day of my review classes and it was just peachy. we had a mock test which was a um a mockery hehehe. well anyways i had fun and met new people again. it ended with an exchange of numbers...

3rd quarter:
well a trip to the ateneo for enrollment was in order and by God's will it went well. i also met this cute cashier lady with a glass eye or it looks like a glass eye.then felix and i went to big r to meet with rich and watch episode 3. the movie was and is great an ending to something that became part of human culture. the quarter ended with a trip home.

4th quarter:
everything came to full circle with a quiet walk under the full moon...

05/21/05

just a date with my bed and the subconscious...

"Ode of the dead"

How do we feel?
Cold and lonely..
For the sun had set
and it would not rise
for us again.

How do we feel?
We are no longer be.
Waiting for completion..
waiting for all of you.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

things that be...

2005-05-17T16:44:00.000+08:00

i'm back and it's jolly good but for today....
just something i thought about while traveling..

"A.V.I.T.M.S."

Please mind the gap..

Step inside and see
the world inside
the metal snake.

With music blaring
thru your ears the sound
of the past and present still
you shall hear the world
inside the metal snake.

To your left, children playing
without care, without thought.
To your right, sunlight forcing
its way to a dreamer's eyes.
In front of you, a girl watching
either you or just the view outside.
Things you would see
inside the metal snake.

The world passes you by
and you wouldn't know
because inside the metal snake
everything would just float
and glide like a place wihout
gravity and time.

The door is opening...

Pleas stand back from the doors
and wake up...

-from Poems by a Lunatic

of things written for today...

2005-05-05T12:48:00.000+08:00

today....review classes and it was ok at some point in time. i met new people and stuff like that, you know it was kinda like the first day of school. good thing my cousin (jeanine) and my classm8 (felix) because...Jolly Good!! so tomorrow again...until may 20.

True Goddess Metempsychosis
-um to anyone visiting my blog, would you make a comment on this statement (which i found in the internet). also what it means to you. ok?so please...

"The Fiend's Cry"

Death,blood and regret
things I would not forget.
To the absence of light
a world would rise, born of spite.
And infront of Power's sight
I shall burn this old world tonight.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

"Witness"

It begins..
an old conflict fought anew.
Opposites would clash
thus innocence is lost.
Nothing is safe..

A tremor occurs...

The Father's children,
white and silver,
march on...

The Adversary's brood,
crimson and vermillion,
march on..

May the day be with us
for another enters the fray..
Sable pure,he marches on..

May the day be with us all...
for nothing shall be spared...
nothing..

-from Poems by a Lunatic

something during may...

2005-05-04T12:04:00.000+08:00

well tomorrow i'll be taking review classes...Jolly Good!!
so that's it i guess. school is just around the corner and it's kinda nice at some point in time. hehe come what may and may what come. (ang labo nun ah) enwais bahala na lhat... pero ok lng hehehe. so much stuff to do this may and it's okay (uy nag-rhyme) because i'm JOLLY GOOD!!! hehehe

"A Mantra for the Fiend"

Poor litlle boy.
Look at you
drunk by power.

Poor little boy.
Disregarded by
the Father.
Invisible to His eyes.

Poor little boy.
Despised by
the Adversary.
Hateful to it's eyes.

Poor little boy.
A king among gods
and men.
Now a mere shadow to
everyone.

Poor little boy.
Don't worry for
I'll stand by you
and we shall both rise
towards freedom and
vengence.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

something for nothing and for all of us....

how fragile we are...

2005-04-29T15:31:00.000+08:00

for today...just a poem

"Lullaby"

Sleep my darling
and don't fret.
I'll be with you
as the storm comes.

Sleep my darling
and don't be afraid.
The raindrops
are but tears from
above.

Sleep my darling
and don't be frightened.
For the shadows
will never
lay a hand on you.
For I am here.

Sleep my darling
and don't worry.
I will not
fade away.

Sleep my darling
let peace and solitude
soothe you to rest.
When you you open your eyes
the storm had passed
and I'm still here.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

a gathering of souls and blood...

2005-04-28T15:27:00.000+08:00

for today or maybe tonight the garcia family gathered to celebrate the birthday of one of its children.
a night of (w/o electricty), good food, games (Cranium) and of course relatives (aunts, uncles and cousins o yeah and also nephews and nieces). It was really something a change from a linear way of spending the summer. in additon i just found out that i'm going to Hong Kong to accompany my relatives on May 16...jolly good. so that's it...jolly good!!!

So Greetings!!!
-Happy Birthday Ma...tnx for being alive because of you and dad i exsist...JOLLY GOOD!!!
-Happy Birthday Tito Dodo, hope where ever you are hope you're doing great. We all miss you!!

P.S.- I also thought that I would be drunk in tonight's party but the only thing I was uh...ida know was "Cranium".It was really fun playing it with my family... hehehe (3-2, my stats hehehehe)

"Magnum Opus"

Such a view...
the waves gliding
thru the sands.
While the stars
give their spark
to palm trees.

Such a view..
like an unknown
artwork by the master.
Perfection revels..
How mesmerizing..
trapped in that moment..
and I could have waited
until everything returned to dust.

Then you came
with the wind in your hair
and asked,
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
You were by my side
and we watched..

no words..
no poetic phrase..
just you and me..
in that masterpiece..

-from Poems by a Lunatic

uhh...epitaph

2005-04-25T14:08:00.000+08:00

i'm going to talk about something today or um tonight...whatever but nah forget it. maybe someone would throw something at me like what people did to Nicholas Cage in the movie "The Weatherman". so i'll just drop the topic and move on to our wonderful and accursed...uh ful written uh um stuff by me.

JOLLY GOOD!!....at some point in time i guess.

well to be perfectly honest today i feel like someone or something (by God's grace let it be a someone) is uh pissed at me and whattever it is it's doing or planning something not very....good or something related to the word good i think. so uh hope it's not that bad....uh um uh jolly good.

uh so that's it i guess...
-oh yeah to my uncle et...welcome back hehe hope my cousins ein and tash(also known as coffee and milk hehehe also by God's grace hope they don't read this) are doing peachy.
-to pat hehe get well soon.... yan nag-Baguio nilagnat tuloy hahaha...joke lng uh actually.
-to rio uh hope you're okay and uh um.... i can't say uh u...um no more pain.
-to uh you enjoy paradise...again jolly good.
-to the rest of those people who complete me....JOLLY GOOD!!!

"Misread"
by Kings of Convenience (how convenient noh?....grabe ang corny nun)

If you wanna be my friend

You want us to get along

Please do not expect me to

Wrap it up and keep it there

The observation I am doing could

Easily be understood

As cynical demeanour

But one of us misread...

And what do you know

It happened again

A friend is not a means

You utilize to get somewhere

Somehow I didn't notice

friendship is an end

What do you know

It happened again

How come no-one told me

All throughout history

The loneliest people

Were the ones who always spoke the truth

The ones who made a difference

By withstanding the indifference

I guess it's up to me now

Should I take that risk or just smile?

What do you know

It happened again

What do you know

by God's will these guys rock... something related to it.

nothing from me today or uh tonight..

a sequel...

2005-04-23T15:15:00.000+08:00

just as the title implies..
a sequel (as you might call it) to "Symbiote"

"Wondergirl"

To my little doll
a sweet lullaby.
A soothing symphony
to wash away the tears.
To my little doll
a rose for your
hazel eyes and for your
exsistence.
To my little doll..
joy and bliss.
To my little doll..
farewell..

Paradox...occurs

A note out of place, a boy of fiction
someone who loved you..
you my wondergirl.
Who picked me up
as I lost my self..
To you, my wondergirl
with your hazel eyes and your perfection
my soul, my being...everything.
That much I owe you wondergirl..
for being there..

I'm losing..
I'm losing..
I'm losing..
..no more

- from Poems by a Lunatic

A word (well actually a statement) to the wise..
Jolly Good!

Today was a day of arrivals and departures because (duh!) people arrived and people left..well those people I care for actually.So to Rio welcome back to the Pearl of The Orient, hope you enjoyed your stay at Prague. While to Pat and the others enjoy Baguio and of course to you enjoy paradise...again.

something to pass the time...

2005-04-23T03:20:00.000+08:00

just as the title implies...

"Symbiote"

I'm losing..
controlling me..
I'm losing..
falling..
I'm losing..
it's closing in..
I'm losing..
losing..

Battered and broken..
I'm losing..
Confused and beaten..
I'm losing..
Left to die..
I'm losing..
Nothing but tears..
I'm losing..
controlling me..

Poor and forgotten..
I'm losing..
Six feet under..
I'm losing..
To ash and dust..
I'm losing..

I'm losing..
I'm losing..

-from Poems by a Lunatic

the agents gather...

2005-04-20T13:23:00.000+08:00

today, a gathering occurs between classmates, friends and brothers for it was a day of games and jollibee which is jolly good. yet like everything else in this giant boardgame things end and the gathering ended with a lift home (oh we were packed like canned goods, you know kinda like tuna or pork and beans). it was jolly good. well the day ended differently for us... it did. my day ended with a chat (text actually) with the person who has been running thru my mind lately...enjoy paradise luv.

PS- i'm feeling british today....JOLLY GOOD!!

"Stellar Pilgrim"

I'm tired...
that's all i can say.
I've seen so much
that my eyes seek rest.
I've walked so
far that everyplace
I go is a homecoming.
Nothing is unknown to me.
Creation, a dime novel.
Time, an old love song
When would it stop?
I'm tired....

-from Poems by a Lunatic

glorious symphony...

2005-04-19T06:27:00.000+08:00

"Meteor Gala"

It was THE night,
a mix of perfection.
Everyone was present,
a glorious symphony
of colors.
Such wonders for our
eyes to see.
A parliament of
crimson and vermillion.
Such wonders for our minds
to comprehend.
A council of
blue and violet.
Such wonders for our
souls to understand.
A convention of
yellow and gold.
A mix of perfection
added as the metreors
reveled.
Everything motioned
to the symphony
of dreams and fantasy
that would never fade..

-from Poems by a Lunatic

I'm feeling poetic for some reason. Is it because of boredom? Will? Destiny? Maybe because of Love?
We may never know...jolly good.

a toast to the stars...

2005-04-17T15:22:00.000+08:00

"Ballad of the Stars"

An androgyn walks up the stage with a harp
and it plays...

Alkaid, Mizar, Rigel, Canopus,Deneb and all of them
are the stars above.
They were born, like you my dearest audience,
living, like you my dearest audience,
and would die, like you my dearest audience.
Their bodies, weak and fragile like yours.
Their hearts could also be broken
and it could be scarred like yours.
Their souls burn like a flame
and it would never be put out...just like yours.
Alkaid, Mizar, Rigel, Canopus, Deneb and all of them
are the stars above.
All of them are like you my dearest audience
in every single way.

Then the androgyn dissappears...

-from Poems by a Lunatic

a toast to the blues...

2005-04-16T17:21:00.000+08:00

"...it is the purpose of those who have no life."
-ADA

what is our purpose? why do we live? why are we here? well how the hell should i know i'm only human....only human. jolly good, a small comfort in this giant edifice that we live in. we are human, the most powerful and the most dangerous of all God's creatures.

i finally have internet connection which is....jolly good and yet i'm still home alone which is uh ida know. yesterday was very linear, i woke up, i ate, i watched tv and then internet... oh and i also went to sleep. so my summer uh very nocturnal (what ever that means?) and i'm still going down in flames but it's a little bit cooler which is jolly good. you know when a person falls, we would sometimes wonder who would catch us? an angel? someone we l0ve? well whatever but my god hope someone would catch me so it would be...jolly good. oh yeah a close friend of mine flew off to prague, hope she's safe. oh yeah and the person who has been running thru my mind lately is still in the province, uh hope she's enjoying paradise. jolly good!!

"Phobos Blues"

It's ten past midnight
and all i have is a of
glass wine.
it's eight past one
and the band starts
to play.
it's six past two
and the shadows
seem to be enjoying themselves.
it's quarter past three
and the ship from
deimos arrives.
it's almost dawn
and you're still not here.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

...then the iron curtain falls.

2005-04-14T18:47:00.000+08:00

it's been awhile since uh something. i'm still going down in flames but the fire is not that hot anymore. hehe i have been with myself these past few days because in the end you are the only one that can comfort yourself. you yourself are your one worst enemy and close friend. so let's see what the future brings whether it's as bright as the stars or total darkness. i'm still waiting for my beatrice...

"Survivor"

I stood on top of it,
the tallest building.
Then it happened
the world ended.
The sky was scrorched.
The sun fell.
The moon became red.
Everyone was weighed
and was given judgement.
And yet amidst it all
I'm still here.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

you go down in flames...

2005-04-10T06:13:00.000+08:00

"You know fate has that knack to kick your ass at the right time."

and it just did... change did come and it was like a kick in the ass. you know, sometimes you hope that things would just fall into place but that never happens. it's all smoke and mirrors, a magic show and it leaves you battered, bloody and just plain fucked-up. well whatever happens have faith.... its all we have anyways. today, i just became a hypocrite, a mr. brightside that can't or wouldn't like to see the light. pathetic ain't it? well in the end it's my fault and it would always be my fault. ain't life so wonderful? i don't feel anger(honestly) and i would never feel anger to anyone i love even to myself....hopefully.

someone dear to me once said...
BEING HAPPY DOESNT MEAN EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. IT ONLY MEANS YOU'VE DECIDED TO SEE BEYOND THE IMPERFECTION. SO DONT SAY YOUR HAPPY BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT... BE HAPPY BECAUSE EVERYTHING SUCKS BUT YOU'RE DOING JUST FINE.
.... hehe something my cousin told me and she's damn right. i have to force these lines in my thick skull.
"Everything sucks but i'm doing just fine"

"Dreams and whatever we want"

Some of us dream...
to be kings,
to be queens,
to be princes and princesses,
to be magicians and mages,
to be angels and demons.
Yet in the end they're just...
dreams.
Hppiness,
love
and whatever we want.
In the end it all falls
to ground.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

bury the father...

2005-04-08T20:29:00.000+08:00

the whole world came to watch as the Church laid its leader to rest. everyone was there everyrace and culture.... nostalgic no? a lot of things happened today, well actually during the night. i watched tv then chat. so much to do yet so little time? oh yeah i got married. where? ym...weird no? hehehe anyways are we all ready for change? well how the hell should i know i'm only a kid but i believe with the Pope's death change would come either like a gentle breeze or a storm. yet in the end it's up to us... it's always up to us.

"Word to the wise."

We are what we are.
We do what we want.
We are free.
We are reckless.
We are weak.
We are powerful.
We are human.
Take caution,
a word to the wise.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

hear the sound of the waves....

2005-04-07T17:32:00.000+08:00

today was just another day of being a bum. nothing much happened i received praises for the things i wrote and i thank those people. spoke to those people that complete me.i'm still alone in our house no one in my room but myself. i would just think of the possibilities in my life. things that could have happen or would have happen. i'm just in my room looking at the ceilling waiting for my beatrice....

"Summer Nights"

A night at the beach
nothing but the stars
to light us.
It was just you and me,
lying on the sand
dreaming.
Then you stood up
you hair flowing
against the wind.
Your smile shinnig brighter
than the lamps above.
It was just you and me,
in that beach.
The world did not matter
nor did those people
we love.
And I would have given everything
for that moment during those
summer nights.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

be happy...

2005-04-05T21:04:00.000+08:00

My Favorite Things

Raindrops on roses and
Whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and
Warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages
Tied up with strings
These are a few of
My favorite things

Cream colored ponies and
Crisp apple strudels
Door bells and sleigh bells
And schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with
The moon on their wings
These are a few of
My favorite things

Girls in white dresses
With blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on
My nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters
That melt into Springs
These are a few of
My favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember
My favorite things

a little something to those who are feeling down. remember be happy and smile. always look on the bright side of things...

'God's in His Heaven, all's right with the world,'

an anwser to our choices...

2005-04-04T21:36:00.001+08:00

Cayman Island
by Kings of Conveniece

Through the alleyways to cool off in the shadows
Then into the street following the water
There's a bearded man paddling in his canoe
Looks as if he has come all the way from the Cayman Islands

These canals, it seems, they all go in circles
Places look the same, and we're the only difference
The wind is in your hair, it's covering my view
I'm holding on to you, on a bike we've hired until tomorrow

If only they could see, if only they had been here
They would understand, how someone could have chosen
To go the length I've gone,
to spend just one day riding
Holding on to you,
I never thought it would be this clear

you know as a person i would always say that those people around me define my existstence. those people complete me they are allen themselves. so to my parents, my siblings (nelice, kevin, audison and victor), my relatives (aunts,uncles and cousins), my classmates (class D '06) and my friends (marian, rap,br, the C boys, rio and ria, criselle,carissa, patricia,arvin,4th,rich, tiu, mike etc..) thanks for completing me. anyways, you know almost all the choices i made in my life i made it for their sake even it hurts me... not anymore. last saturday i spoke with my aunt about different stuff such as uh um love. anyways she told that in the choices that we make, our own interests...no i mean our own feelings are equally important to the feelings of others. we don't always have to be martys, we don't have to hurt ourselves. so from know on whatever choice i make it is for own interest. i made them for me, i made them because i want to. so whatever thing, topic etc i encounter such as love the choice that i would make would be for me. so maybe with this change it may prove easier to find my beatrice.....

"Tell the Queen"

Go tell the queen
the fiend ia gone.
Go tell the queen
the wiseman had vanished.
Go tell the queen
the king is dead.
Go tell the queen
the stars have fallen.
Go tell the queen
that I am comming.

-from Poems by a Lunatic

another chance in a new thing...

2005-04-02T00:38:00.000+08:00

my old blog was uh some technical bullshit happened to it. yet i would like to thank rio for helping me with it. anyways another new thing, one that makes me part of the crowd. tell me anyone is it cool to be part of the crowd but if you don't want to i don't blame you....freewill.
enwais i finally understood the things i've been thinking about the one about "why everything is so boring?"well i think it's...forget it. i'll just conquer the world to pass the time and to look for my Beatrice.

enwais a poem to end it all...well my first entry.

"256"

256 rooms with
256 windows
for each window
a smile frozen in place.

256 doors with
256 holes
for each hole
a corpse smiling.

256 souls with
256 scars
for each scar
a story concerning you..
-from Poems by a Lunatic